


What Can I Do? (An Alternate Ending)

by pandemoniax3



Series: Say A Little Prayer For You [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel, Reunions, Tags? What tags?, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 09:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2145768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandemoniax3/pseuds/pandemoniax3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry. I had no idea you were here, honestly. I was going out to maybe… look for you, again. I can go if you want.”<br/>Castiel kept quiet, and after a few moments of silence, Dean took that as a queue to leave. Castiel huffed in annoyance as he saw Dean’s familiar back turning away to walk out the door.<br/>“Running away? Again?” Dean looked back over his shoulder to see the tense line of Castiel’s shoulders and he sighed in defeat, nodding silently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Can I Do? (An Alternate Ending)

**Author's Note:**

> There you go, Alternate endings for those angsty people out there. :p  
> I whipped this up real quick, and remember; this is an ALTERNATE ENDING to "I Could Never Leave You Even If I Wanted To."  
> So read that before you read this or else none of it will make sense!  
> Thanks, and enjoy!

“Castiel.” He turned around to see Nora walking up to him with something behind her back.

“Yes, Ms. Clarke?” She sighed, smiling at his reverted respect. She walked up to him, nervously, fidgety.

“I know that it’s still early. But I wanted to give this to you.” Pulling out an envelope, thick with money, Castiel’s eyes went wide. He shook his head, trying to refuse it before she shoved it into his hands.

“I can’t take this from you. It’s too much!” Castiel was torn between looking between the stack of cash in the envelope and her loving, blue eyes. They weren’t as blue as Castiel’s, but they were a sight to be seen. Castiel was gay, but he had eyes and he saw that Nora was an absolutely beautiful woman who had recently had a child, too. The moment he set eyes on her, working hard for her job and for her baby, he had a new found respect for her.

“Think of it as… an early Christmas bonus.” Castiel was shocked, there was over $500 in the envelope, which along with his paycheck, was more than enough for the heater to be turned back on and for him to eat an adequate meal for the first time in a week. He could get Hael a toy for when she comes, and he couldn’t help but let a few tears fall from his eyes as Nora wrapped her arms around his body, careful about the baby bump. She shushed and hummed quietly to him until he calmed down enough to look up at her.

“Thank you so much, Ms. Clarke. I can… I can finally get Hael proper equipment for when she comes. I can finally pay off the heating bill… I can…” his voice cracked as he wrapped his arms around Nora and cried into her shoulder.

It felt like forever, and the pounding behind his eyes eventually ebbed away. Nora rubbed his back up and down before leaning back and kissing him on the forehead. She was about to open her mouth before the bell of the door chimed, indicating that a customer walked in. Nora gave him one last hug, smiling before walking backwards,

“I’ll leave you to do your work now.” He smiled back at her shyly, looking down at the packet in his hands.

“$30 for gas and I’d like some beef jerky.” Castiel’s eyes shot up at the sound of the man’s voice and saw the familiar head of blonde, military cropped hair before said man’s green eyes looked up in shock. Castiel’s mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water and Dean stared back, obviously in shock.

“Cas.” The familiar moniker snapped a string in Castiel and he let out a sob, quickly covering it up with the noises of the cash register. He kept his eyes down and at the numbers on the register.

“Hello Dean… That will be $36.36, please,” Castiel replied with an even tone. When Dean didn’t make a move to pay, Castiel looked up to see Dean looking at Castiel’s midsection. He suddenly felt self conscious, angrily trying to pull his vest, and failing to cover his belly.

“Is that…” Dean began.

“Yes,” Castiel spat out. Dean’s mouth snapped shut and he bore his green eyes into Castiel’s stormy blue ones. He couldn’t handle staring at those familiar green eyes anymore, so he moved his glare to the smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. Dean was beautiful in the best of ways, and Castiel still loved and missed Dean.

“Can I…”

“…Yes,” Castiel interrupted, before turned to the side and making his way to walk around the barrier. Dean watched the whole time, struggling to keep his eyes either on the best friend he abandoned, or his baby, no. He or she was  _their_  baby. Dean stepped forward, keeping Castiel on the defensive before calloused, reverent hands began to caress his belly. Castiel felt a strong kick coming from Hael, and from the sounds of Dean’s sharp inhale, he must have felt it, too.

It was too quiet and it felt as if time was dragging itself too long before Dean’s familiar arms were wrapped around him tight, mindful of the belly and his face was pushed into his neck, hidden from Castiel’s view. Castiel felt himself go ridged and tense, unsure of how he felt of Dean wrapping himself around him and their child.

“You were gone. I thought you disappeared for good, or even di—“ Dean’s voice choked and Castiel felt a wetness seeping through his collar from where Dean hid his face. It was a surprise. Dean had never really cried before, except the one time he got Sam hurt jumping off the rooftop, and Dean was too emotionally constipated to really show his feelings.

“I looked for you. Everywhere. I regret it. I regret everything and rejecting you and rejecting our baby. I’m so sorry.” At this point, the flood was unleashed and Castiel was seething. Feeling the telltale signs of tears pricking behind his eyes, he gripped his hands tight in a fist and pulled away from Dean. His heart swell and broke at the same time at Dean’s confession, but it still hurt—badly—and he had no idea what to do about the feeling.

Castiel was still tense, still unsure of how to take the change of his day; instead he took to glaring even harder and chewing his lip bloody.

“No Dean, no. You do _not_ get to do that to me. You don’t get to kick me out of your life and expect me to let you back in that easily.” Castiel was shaking in anger and he wrapped his arms around himself as a protective barrier from his wants and what he actually needs, which is Dean to realize what he had done wrong and that he couldn’t just make it up in a snap.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” Dean cried out, trying to reach out and grip onto Castiel once again. Instead, Castiel took another step backwards to keep more distance between the two of them. Dean called him baby, a term of affection, which meant Dean wasn’t ashamed of who he was. At least, not anymore. It didn’t matter regardless. Despite the fact, Castiel was still thrown out of Dean’s life from an act that Dean initiated, and he wanted Castiel to accept him again with a smile and open arms.

No, that’s not how it works, though.

Nora, who was watching in the background, silently and quickly came between them just in case she needed to quickly diffuse the tension. At this, Castiel frowned, not at her, but the realization that he was bringing drama at work. He thanked her quietly before turning and angrily shuffling towards the back of the store where the lounge was so Nora could man the register while the two got their problems worked out. With that, it was a relief to not to have to worry about a customer walking in and interrupting their moment.

Dean kept a bit of distance away from Castiel as they moved over, and once in the quiet of the room, he turned to be in front of him and looked,  _really_  looked at Castiel. He hadn’t noticed the slightly gaunt look and the paleness of his skin. He looked like he had a tussle with a monster the night before with messy, matte hair and dark, almost black, bags under his eyes. It’s the first time he’s seen his best friend and the love of his life in half a year, and he regrets ever telling him to leave.

Castiel stood in front of Dean, eyebrow cocked, arms folded and patiently tapping his feet on the ground for Dean to close the door behind him. He didn’t know what to say to Dean and he wasn’t sure what to feel with the myriad of feelings pulsing through him; so the first thing he blurts out, he instantly high fives himself with the look of rejection from Dean’s face.

“Why are you here?” Castiel glared into the moss green eyes that flashed through his dream the night previous in his little bouts of sleep. Dean’s jaw was slack, open with words on his tongue but never leaving his mouth. He looked down at his shoes and stepped back.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea you were here, honestly. I was going out to maybe… look for you, again. I can go if you want.”

Castiel kept quiet, and after a few moments of silence, Dean took that as a queue to leave. Castiel huffed in annoyance as he saw Dean’s familiar back turning away to walk out the door.

“Running away? _Again?_ ” Dean looked back over his shoulder to see the tense line of Castiel’s shoulders and he sighed in defeat, nodding silently.

“I deserve that.” Castiel narrowed his eyes before stepping up close, almost less than an inch between the two bodies. Although Castiel was slightly shorter, it was still an intimidating stance in Dean’s point of view.

“No, Dean. You deserve so much more. You’re lucky I haven’t gotten Nora to kick you out of this place already.” Castiel could audibly hear the loud gulp from the man in front of him, and after a few seconds of leaning in threateningly, he took a couple of steps, keeping up his stance from before with an even bitchier face.

Dean swayed back and forth with the shift of his feet, unsure and awkward of what to say or ask next.

“What’s… What’s the baby’s name?” Castiel heard Dean ask quietly. He looked up in surprise, not knowing why Dean would even ask about their child when Castiel is clearly showing disinterest in Dean’s sudden need to support. He doesn’t even know how Dean would react to Hael’s name, but it didn’t matter. If Dean had a problem, then he’d have to deal with it since Castiel was the baby’s only parent figure so far throughout the pregnancy.

“Hael… Hael Mary.” Dean chuckled lightly into the room. It sounded a little wet, and at an angle, Castiel wouldn’t have been able to tell, but he saw the glistening tears in the corner of his eyes. He deserves to cry and feel pain, Castiel thought.

“ _Say a little prayer for you_?” Dean singsonged. Castiel rolled his eyes, huffing in both annoyance and amusement that Dean would joke about their daughter’s name. Dean looked back up from staring at his shoes, looking at Castiel in the eyes with adoration and love. There was a flash of fear and hesitance in his eyes before he continued.

“Hael… Mary. A daughter?” He choked out. Castiel could only nod, feeling the burning in his eyes. He was angry, definitely; but he couldn’t help but feel good about knowing that Dean finally knew who he helped in making, his daughter.

“I love it, really Cas. I love it, and I love you. And her. I will always love her. So I’m asking you to come back to me Cas. I left you on your own and that was my biggest regret, but now that I found you; come home.” Castiel stilled and stared back at Dean. Despite the fact that Dean told him that he had basically ruined his life, he had the audacity to ask him to come back. No, even if Dean still loved and wanted him and their daughter, he couldn’t deal with the heartache again.

“God damn it, Dean! You can’t just fucking tell me that you love me and my daughter when you’re part of the reason of why I’m in the situation in the first place.” Castiel turned hard eyes onto Dean, hoping he understood his frustration and anger. “I had _nothing_ , and _no one,_ and I came to you when I needed you the most,” Castiel’s voice cracked, a sob wrenching itself out of his throat.

“You _blamed_ me for potentially ruining your life and you wanted _nothing_ to do with her, you bastard. So, how Dean? How am I supposed to trust that you won’t do it again?” Castiel dropped his arms to his side and sighed. He was tired and exasperated from pouring out what he could into his last words. Looking up, he saw Dean take a hesitant step forward as he tried to reach forward for Castiel’s hands. He flinched instantly once his hands came into view and Dean dropped them heavily.

“I will do _whatever_ it takes, Cas. _Whatever_ it takes to get back into your good graces. I want to be a part of your life again, and I want to be there for our daughter. I already told my family; so they know and if you would allow it, they would support you. _I_ would support you. The both of you.” Dean watched Castiel’s face contort until all he could see was a pair of thin lips and a closed expression.

“Where were you for my first exam? Where were you when I heard her first heartbeat? Where were you when I found out that our child was going to be a girl? You weren’t there for her then, you weren’t there for her now. As you can see, I’ve been able to support myself and my daughter well enough, so no thank you, I don’t need your support.” Castiel was heaving, and he breathed in and out slowly in order to try and calm himself.

“Look at yourself, Cas! You look hell bent and you look like you haven’t had a decent meal in days! You’re clearly not taking care of yourself as much as you should be with a baby on the way. You might not like it, but you need someone to take care of you before you have her.” If it weren’t for the twist and different angle of his face, Dean would never have been able to register the pain of his quickly-reddening right cheek. Castiel had slapped him and Dean realized that this Cas wasn’t like the Cas he knew before. Not really. This Castiel was hardened and he was more mature, but that didn’t stop his heart from quickening at his show of defiance.

“I’m perfectly fine by myself, Dean… I’ve been taking care of myself for the better part of half a year, so forgive me if I feel as if I don’t need anyone there for me,” Castiel quietly let out. He was looking down at his boots and at the silence, he looked up to see his ex-best friend’s face. 

Dean looked crestfallen, but Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to care. He quickly turned and went to gather his warm clothing and quickly slipping them on. He kept his back to Dean as he made sure that he was protected enough from the cold weather that was currently outside.

“Cas… What can I do to make it up to you?” Turning around sharply, he shot daggers at Dean with his eyes, multiple answers reeling through his mind.

“Honestly, Dean? I don’t know. But it’s going to take a lot more than showing up at my work and begging to be a part of my life again. It’s not that easy. And _I’m_ definitely not that easy to break.” Turning up the collar of his coat and wrapping the wool scarf around his neck, he walked passed Dean and threw a last remark over his shoulder.

“You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that if you even want to think about being there for either of us,” and with that; Castiel walked out of the employee lounge, leaving a speechless Dean Winchester with a litany of ideas running through his head; all of which were pointing to one direction. He wanted to get Cas back. He had to get Cas back, or else he didn’t think he would be able to survive without him.

**Author's Note:**

> There you go, your alternate ending.  
> I whipped this up real quick, and I hope it suits your taste, for an alternate ending, of course.  
> I keep repeating those two words, but I really did hope you enjoy.  
> Oh, unbeta'd, just fyi.
> 
> So, Kudos/Comments/Suggestions, pl0x. It really tickles me where my bathing suit goes. (;
> 
> Hopefully, I will continue this soon.  
> Peace and thanks, bitches!


End file.
